92 Days to Ultraman Mexico: Now and Again

Tomorrow I head to Lake Placid for my third Ironman. Today I did a short brick workout. 26 miles on the bike trainer and a 5 mile run off the bike. I finished with my daily 20 minutes of mobility work. While on the bike I listened to more of the Krishnamurti conversation with Allan W. Anderson called, “Freedom From the Known.”

It is great listening on the bike. I find that when I am putting out a consistent physical effort it is easier for me to listen to long form content. I find his material as exciting as it is challenging. I have to listen to every episode at least twice on its own to begin to grasp it. As I have progressed through the episodes I’ve found that going back I am able to understand the earlier episodes in new ways. I can tell that once I get to the end of the series it will unlock new meaning for all the material I’ve already heard.

One of the lessons that resonated with me focused on the present moment. It is easy to be distracted from the present moment. Now more so than ever. The present feels like this impossible to grasp sliver. Something that is changed fundamentally as soon as it is observed. But by letting go of any attempt to grasp or observe the preset one is able to experience it.

To be present requires disarming the thinking mind. Trusting that everything will be fine exactly as it is and accepting whatever comes. This kind of experience is something I have consistently found in endurance racing. When the physical stress of the day has so totally exhausted and overwhelming the mind that I cannot help but surrender to the moment. In these moments there is always peace. They are not inherently free of pain, emotion, or thought. They are free from identity. Nothing feels like me any more. None of it is a threat. It all becomes just another experiencing passing over me like the tide on the shore.

Krishnamurti suggests that the thinking mind is a barrier to the present moment. This is because all thought is based on the past. Any thinking about the moment is based on prior experience and not the direct experience of the present. Hearing that I found it even more difficult to be present. I was now thinking about thinking and then resisting those thoughts with more thinking.

This type of thinking is why I need to be moving for hours at a time.

This weekend Ironman Lake Placid will give me all the time I need.